1.) A dog trapped in the bathroom sounds remarkably similar to someone trying to break down your door. One is much funnier to find at 3 AM than the other.
2.) When you buy something, write down who's to get it when you die, it'll save time and drama later.
3.) Wills, Beneficiary information, and other legal documents should be reviewed about every five years for the same reason as #2.
4.) The horse community, in general, is the antithesis of the gun community. No amount of wishing will change that.
5.) Sometimes, referring a customer to your competitor is the best solution. You no longer have to deal with them and they do.